I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
