That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
