Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
