I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
