That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
