Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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