I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
