It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
