im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
