her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You can't just leave with hair like that
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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