Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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