Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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