ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
