I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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