our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I stole a fireplace last night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
