Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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