my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
