Its about making memories worth repressing
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
