He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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