There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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