from now on my penis is your penis
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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