too bad you live with your parents still
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
