Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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