Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
