It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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