Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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