Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
