You're so nebulous sometimes
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
