Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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