You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
