I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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