i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
