Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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