After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
