I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
