Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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