You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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