I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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