Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
