I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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