woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
