You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
birth control should be required to get into college
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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