Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
