im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
