guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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