I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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