how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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