Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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