think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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