pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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